Saturday, June 18, 2011

How To Talk About Being Lesbian ?!▬

◘ Hi there :) , i know this is a very hard's a hard thing to talk with your friends about being lesbian....and i'm not talking about saying this to your crush only...but with all your these are some ideas that might help all of us , i hope you like it :D

1- Bring the subject up casually:
Start generically. Ask, do you have a crush on anyone? Or who do you think is cute? You can ask about people you know or celebrities.
2- Bring up the issue:
Ask what they think of gay marriage, gays in the military or Gay/Straight Alliances in the schools. This is a good way to test the waters to see if they are homophobic or not.
3- Let them know how you feel :
If someone tells a gay joke, be sure to say you don't think that's funny. If someone calls someone else a 'fag' or says something mean about gay people, be sure to stand up for them.
4- Use a Celebrity:
Do you watch Queer as Folk or The L Word? Talk about the show and see how your friend responds. It seems like the tabloids are always talking about some famous girl kissing another girl. Ask your friend if she has ever, or would she consider kissing another girl.
5- Use another friend:
Is there some one in your school or circle of friends who is gay, lesbian or bisexual? Mention that person's name and see how your friend reacts.
6- Go for it! :
Depending on how the above steps go, you may decide to take the plunge and ask your big question, "Are you gay?" or drop the hint that you've been thinking about other girls.
7- Breathe :
Discussing sexual orientation is one of the most stressful things a person can do. Be sure you're ready to have the conversation before you start it.

(via liquorinthefront)

how to keep some love alive

 how to keep some love alife

Here are some tips :

1-Tell her you love her. Do you do it enough? Be specific. Say, "Honey, you make me laugh," or "You're the sexiest person I've ever met." Only say it if you mean it. She'll know the difference
2-Buy her flowers. Do it today! Don't just wait for a special occasion. Surprise her!
3-Take her out on a date. So many long-term couples don't go out on dates, especially if they live together or have kids. A date doesn't have to cost a lot of money. Go see an art opening or a free concert in the park.
4-Make a date for romance. Is your love life in a rut? Plan an evening of intimacy. Turn off the TV, light candles, put on some romantic music, send the kids to a baby sitter or get a hotel room.
5-Tell her she's beautiful.
6-Have interests of your own, but make time for her. She fell for you because you intrigued her. Keep doing what you love. If you're a well-rounded person, you'll always have things to talk about.
7-Encourage her to follow her heart's desire. Does she have a hidden dream? Does she fantasize of being a famous painter? Buy her an easel. Has she always wanted to climb Mt. Everest? Buy her books on Nepal or a new pair of hiking boots. Does she want to return to school? Help her apply for financial aid. The happier she is with herself, the happier she'll be with you.

8-Listen with your ears and your heart. Let her know you're paying attention. Ask her what she would like to make your relationship better. Be open to what she has to say
9-Follow up your words with actions. Did you promise to go with her to visit her mother? Say you were going to take her out on Saturday night? Return the videos? Do it!
10-Communicate. Listen with respect. Repeat what you heard her say. Validate her points. Validate her.


Arcigay posted their press release for Kiana Firouz today. It’s in Italian, but scroll down more information in English.

Kiana Firouz in a still from Cul de Sac.
Kiana Firouz, 27 years old, is an outspoken Iranian LGBT rights activist, filmmaker, and actress. When clips of her video documentary work featuring the struggle and persecution of gays and lesbians in her country were acquired by Iranian intelligence, agents began to follow Firouz around Tehran, harassing and intimidating her. She fled for England where she could safely continue her work and studies.
She plays a starring role in Cul de Sac, a documentary film produced in the UK about the condition of lesbians in Iran, and based heavily on Firouz’s own life story. Directed by Ramin Goudarzi-Nejad and Mahshad Torkan, the movie will premiere in London in a few days. Since the trailer was posted on YouTube in December 2009, Cul de Sac has attracted global media attention, with thousands of views. Apparently, some of those views included members of Ahmadinejad’s puppet media in Iran. They know who Firouz is and what she stands for. They may want her to come back to the country she was born in to answer for it.

Still from Cul de Sac.
Firouz, understandably, has requested asylum from the British government. Much to everyone’s shock and dismay, the British Home Office has rejected her application for refugee status. Yes, they know she’s gay. Yes, they know she could be deported back to Iran at any time, and that if this happens, Firouz will most likely be sentenced to torture and death after being found guilty of the “unspeakable sin of homosexuality” because she has participated in explicit lesbian sex scenes in the movie, and been a fierce proponent for human rights in her country.
In Iran, the punishment for lesbianism involving mature consenting women consists of 100 lashes. This punishment can be applied up to three times. After a fourth violation of Iranian law, a woman convicted of “unrepentant homosexuality” is finally executed by hanging, often publicly, in front of a howling mob.
Kiana filed for a court appeal following the Home Office’s decision to reject her application for asylum, but the judge overruled her appeal. According to Kiana’s lawyer, the last remaining chance is to appeal the judge’s decision, but the risk of deportation is imminent.
The EveryOne Group, an international human rights organization, which was involved in the asylum cases of the lesbian Pegah Emambakhsh, who risked being deported from London to Tehran in 2007, and of the Iranian gay, Mehdi Kazemi, appeals to the British government and the democratic forces of the European Union, the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees, Antonio Guterres, that Kiana Firouz be immediately guaranteed adequate humanitarian protection and that the order for her deportation be repealed, given that on return to Iran she will face a death sentence not only because a lesbian but because of her civil rights activism.
The EveryOne activists invite concerned readers to send protest e-mail messages to the British Home Office ( requesting that Kiana receive refugee status as soon as possible, for she is a symbol of the international fight against homophobia and repression of gays and lesbians in Islamic countries.

I’ve spent a fair amount of my day researching, fact-checking and [edit for clarification: attempting to] verify this story, and I can’t figure it out: why is this news not EVERYWHERE right now? Why is this petition for Firouz so anemic? There should be hundreds of thousands of names on that list.
And yet, I am only just catching wind of Firouz’s story from a chance visit to Kim Boekbinder‘s blog, where Kim posted a heartbreaking letter written by an Italian friend of hers, Sylvia K. An excerpt:
No major newspaper even remotely talks about Kiana’s story, nor do gay activists. People don’t seem to care much at all. I do. Last night I wrote to Kiana. Nothing much, only to say that I was so saddened and angry, that her story had moved and inspired me and that I was SO thankful to her for standing up for what she truly believed in… This morning before going out I found her reply. It goes like this :
“Dear Sylvia
I am proud of you. we should proud of each other for being strong. I am so thankful for your supportive and kindly letter. It does not matter what is going to happen to me. Its all about freedom.
Take care and do not forget you are not alone, we are many…
I wrote it on a piece of paper and hurried out of the house.
I spent the greater part of this rainy day sitting in one of the University’s courtyards, crying alone [...]  I look at myself, always complaining about homophobia in Italy, about the fact we have no equal rights, and I feel like a fucking piece of shit. Because for me, it is SO easy to go to London, to Paris, to Berlin and be the butchest fiercest lesbian around, without having to be afraid of being lashed 100, 200, 300 times and then hung, a thick rope around my neck, people rejoicing all around.
It does matter what happens to Kiana Firouz. This should not be a reality for her, or anyone else.
And this is her story.
Let’s make some noise, comrades.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Let’s take a look at these myths about lesbians and shine some light on the facts.

People have preconceived notions about who lesbians are, what lesbians look like, who lesbians are attracted to and who lesbians want to be. Let’s take a look at these myths about lesbians and shine some light on the facts.

1. All Lesbians Hate Men Fact: Just because lesbians are sexually and emotionally attracted to women, does not mean they hate or even dislike men. In fact, many lesbians love men.

2. Lesbians (especially butch lesbians) want to be men Fact: Lesbians who’s appearances are more androgynous or masculine do so because that is how they feel comfortable. The fact is, there is a diversity of gender expression among all women (and men) no matter what their sexual orientation. People who want to change their sex are called transsexual.

3. You Can’t Know if You’re a Lesbian Unless You Sleep with a Woman Fact: Just as heterosexual people can know they are straight without ever having sex, lesbians too can know they are attracted to women without ever having to sleep with one. Coming out is a process and there is not “quick” way to figure out if you are indeed a lesbian or not.

4. Lesbians are attracted to all women Fact: Just because someone is a lesbian does not mean she’s going to hit on you or be attracted to you.

5. Being a Lesbian is a choice and can be changed Fact: More and more studies are discovering evidence that sexual orientation is not something that one chooses, rather it is an inborn trait, found not only in humans, but in most animals species. Contrary to what the religious right preaches, counseling to “make someone straight” just doesn’t work.

6. Lesbian Relationships are all about sex Fact: Sure lesbians have sex, but like heterosexual relationships, sex is not all there is to lesbian relationships. Lesbians connect with each other on an emotional and spiritual level and if they’re lucky, have great sex too. Like straight people, lesbians create families and have children (or choose not to.)

7. Lesbians just haven’t met the right man yet Fact: Many lesbians haven’t met the right woman yet, but meeting a man has nothing to do with it.

8. You Can Tell a Lesbian by how she looks Fact: Lesbians and gay men claim to have something called “gaydar”, which is really just an intuition about whether or not someone is gay. Gaydar isn’t right all of the time and since many people still live in the closet, there’s no way to tell for sure if someone is a lesbian. Unless she tells you, of course.